


Maybe "Maybe" Can Be Our Always

by its_peebz_love



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, jeno is very in love and so is jaemin, just Jeno waxing poetics about Jaemin for 3000 words, loosely based off that episode of friends where ross finds out Monica and chandler are dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_peebz_love/pseuds/its_peebz_love
Summary: When he was a child, with his only worries being what was for snack at school that day and when the soonest he could play with Jaemin was, he believed love was measured. Measured by the amount of kisses his dad would give his mom every morning, by the flowers people would try and court his brother with. He thought that when someone says ‘I love you thisssss much!’ and their arms stretched out as far as they could possibly go, that was what measured love. Perhaps as time went on, and he experienced life for what it was, his viewpoint changed a bit. Love wasn’t something physical that could be put on a platter with a little note that says ‘Here! Here is my love!’. Love wasn't something that could be measured using a ruler or a scale.His love for Na Jaemin could not be measured even if he tried.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Maybe "Maybe" Can Be Our Always

Maybe this was a bad idea.

One of those bad ideas where you get sick in the head obsessed over it until you can no longer hold yourself back, and then when the deed is done you feel so free and liberated for the first time in a long time. One of those bad ideas like getting a tattoo that you let a stranger on the street pick out, like picking up your entire life and moving to a new country where nobody knows your name, like changing your major halfway through college because you decided that maybe marine biology wasn't for everyone. 

Like falling in love with your brother’s best friend’s brother.

Okay, so maybe Jeno was being a teeny-weeny bit dramatic, but he can't help that this situation will likely lead to an impending doom for all parties involved. Doyoung specifically said that Jaemin was off-limits, and yet here he was, ridiculously head-over-heels in love with the one person he was meant to avoid.

Not saying they couldn't be friends, nothing Doyoung could say would reason gatekeeping such a beautiful and bright boy from him, but there were lines that he just shouldn't cross. For example, sleepover cuddles and the occasional platonic butt-grab were on the table for Jaemin, as he didn't know the definition of personal space sometimes. Not-so-platonic making out and dates, on the other hand, would get them both an extremely long and unnecessary lecture about ‘dating could ruin the bond our families have blah blah blah’.

And Jeno could see where Doyoung was coming from, in a way. The Kim-Lee family and the Lee-Na family have a history that goes back almost 20 years, when Ten shoved sand down Doyoung’s shirt on the playground. The story from there can change depending on who you ask, Ten would say that he knew immediately him and Doyoung would be best friends, meanwhile Doyoung would complain about how he has never enjoyed Ten’s presence.

(Though he says this while in the middle of filling out the roommate request form so he and Ten could dorm together in college.)

For 20 long years the two families did everything together, and so when Mrs. Lee announced that she was pregnant with her second child, Mrs. Na was eager to follow so they could have another set of boys grow up together. 

Hence: Jeno and Jaemin are born.

Somewhere along the line others come and go, like Doyoung’s fleeting relationship with this girl who’s name was Irene and honestly she scared him more than she attracted him. Or the group of “friends” Jaemin had in middle school that pressured him into doing some pretty shady stuff. Needless to say, Jeno handled that one.

Somewhere along the line, though, they created themselves a family. Like Donghyuk and Renjun from the anime club Jaemin had forced Jeno to join back in freshman year. Or like the Lee’s who moved from Canada and into the house across from Jeno. With the Lee’s came Johnny, Mark’s older cousin who wanted a change in scenery and chose to stay with his aunt and uncle.

(Don’t tell anyone he's said this, but Ten seems awfully infatuated with Johnny.)

And, finally, somewhere along the line Jeno had found love.

When he was a child, with his only worries being what was for snack at school that day and when the soonest he could play with Jaemin was, he believed love was measured. Measured by the amount of kisses his dad would give his mom every morning, by the flowers people would try and court his brother with. He thought that when someone says ‘I love you thisssss much!’ and their arms stretched out as far as they could possibly go, that was what measured love. Perhaps as time went on, and he experienced life for what it was, his viewpoint changed a bit. Love wasn’t something physical that could be put on a platter with a little note that says ‘Here! Here is my love!’. Love wasn't something that could be measured using a ruler or a scale.

His love for Na Jaemin could not be measured even if he tried.

There wasn't any specific moment where Jeno came to the realization that he was irreversibly in love with his best friend, it just kind of happened. Maybe it was around the time that Jaemin had a fixation on crocheting, so he made Jeno five sweaters and a pair of socks. Or maybe it was when Jaemin dated this boy who treated him like he was disposable, and Jeno was constantly in a state of jealousy/hatred induced anger. Either way it ends the same; Jaemin confesses to him right before boarding a plane to New York for a week-long photography camp. That had been the longest week of Jeno’s life, because after the confession Jaemin had immediately walked past the security check and left zero room for Jeno to speak his mind.

So Jeno sat, and waited, and thought.

He thought about how beautiful Jaemin was when he got fixated on editing a specific photo. And how his heart stopped every time Jaemin smiled at him with the shine in his eyes that is reserved for Jeno only. Or how the younger held him so gently on those days where Jeno felt he wasn't worthy of Jaemin’s kindness, insecurities eating away at him.

So maybe there wasn't a particular moment where Jeno thought ‘Hey, I really really love him’. Maybe he had really really loved him from the moment the other was born.

Jaemin did eventually come back from his trip, and that had led into the most emotionally draining night. Jaemin cried, scared he had ruined everything the two had together. Jeno cried, unable to believe someone as perfect as Jaemin could love someone as flawed as him. They cried together, occasionally sharing soft and sweet kisses that felt like fireworks. Then, when they were exhausted from all their tears, they made their slow-burn romance into an official relationship.

Well, kind of official. As official as it can get when only seven people know, including themselves.

They obviously told Donghyuk and Renjun, as it would be impossible to hide it from their best friends. The two would have been able to see through their facade almost immediately after their first interaction post summer vacation. Jeno was convinced Renjun could see into his head or something, and Renjun had just laughed when Jeno voiced this thought aloud. With telling their two best friends came Donghyuk telling Mark, because he couldn't keep his mouth shut for five seconds around his boyfriend. Chenle, Renjun’s brother, walked in on them setting the table for their weekly friend gathering, took one look at the two of them, and immediately had an expression that meant he just knew. And finally, because he is just an attachment of Chenle, Jisung was the last to find out.

Telling their families, though… that proved to be a whole different struggle.

You see, Doyoung has always been very concerned about something happening to where family gatherings become awkward and stilted. That something being a relationship which could possibly lead to a breakup. It’s why he so adamantly refused to harbor feelings for his best friend, which wasn't so hard considering he couldn't see Ten like that without wanting to throw up. He truly loves the bond their houses share, and it's nice to have a comfortable environment to come home to once in a while. Therefore, he was absolutely not going to let Jeno ruin that.

“Would Doyoung really have such a negative reaction? I’m sure my brother would be fine with it.” Jaemin whispers against Jeno’s neck one night as they attempt to evade the cold through some light cuddling.

“Yeah, but that’s Ten, and he's the same person who got high and went skinny dipping in bitchy Ms. Choi’s pool. There is nothing we could proposition him with that he would say no to.” Jeno softly responds.

“That’s fair.”

Obviously they would have to let the cat out of the bag eventually. Too many people already knew for it to be able to stay a secret much longer. Mark would tell Johnny, probably on accident, who would then tell Ten, who would then tell everyone within a five mile radius. Ten liked to say he was the best at keeping things hush-hush, but even his parents knew better than to let him in on anything. Secrets were hard to keep in the neighborhood they lived in, and so Jaemin and Jeno have come to terms with the fact that their peaceful relationship wouldn't stay so peaceful for much longer.

They just hadn't expected the reveal to be so… explosive.

It began with their six month anniversary, spent star-gazing and slow dancing with no music in an empty park until midnight. Jeno pressing tender kisses into Jaemin’s temple while the younger rubbed his hands soothingly up and down the other's back. Meaningful glances were exchanged every so often, ones that held a thousand words that just couldn't be spoken. Jeno could feel Jaemin’s heartbeat steadily thrumming with how close his chest was pressed against his.

“You know what I love the most about you, Jen?” Jaemin whispered, bringing a hand up to carefully tuck a strand of hair behind Jeno’s ear, then coming to rest on the older’s cheek. His thumb drew soft circles into the dimples.

“Enlighten me, Nana.”

“You look at me as if I’m the most important thing in the entire world.” Jaemin accented his thought with a tender kiss to Jeno’s nose. “And sometimes that scares me. To be held like I’m delicate. Jen, when you look at me I feel so truly loved and cared for that it hurts. I’ve never quite felt love like this before, but I know I never want to let it go. I never want to let you go. Your gaze gives me goosebumps every time, so therefore it's your eyes. Your eyes are what I love most about you.”

Jeno felt as if he could cry, but he wouldn't. He can't waste tears on moments that are meant to bring joy, and besides, he isn't much of a crier anyways. Jeno prefers to show his emotions through action instead, which is why he chooses to respond by meeting Jaemin’s lips briefly, then resting his forehead against his. They continue to sway to the beat in their heads, lost to everyone in the world except each other. It’s only after another five minutes or so does Jeno finally have his thoughts put together enough.

“Nana, you are the most important thing to me. I grew up watching you from the sidelines, because we all knew you were the main character, and I was just the supportive best friend.” Jeno begins, and Jaemin opens his mouth to say something but Jeno continues before he has the chance. “But now, all I see when I watch you is this gorgeous boy who I somehow managed to start dating. You are just so radiant, and you attract so many bright things that I can't help but look at you as if you hung the stars in the sky. My favorite thing about you, Nana, is the unconditional love you give me without restraint.” 

Jeno may not be a crier, but Jaemin definitely is.

“God you are such a sap, Jen.” Jaemin manages to get out through a stuffy nose and red-rimmed eyes. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you more, to the moon and back, baby.”

With a roll of his eyes, Jaemin pulls the older into a passionate kiss, one that leaves Jeno weak in the knees and unable to breathe properly. They seperate occasionally for air, but the borderline makeout session goes on for quite some time until-

“Jeno? Jaemin?”

They’re startled, breaking apart to look in the direction the voice came from. “Doyoung?”

It’s his brother. Oh god, it’s his brother.

And all of his brother’s friends, too. Johnny and Ten stand to the side, odd expressions of confusion on their faces. They have their arms locked together, and Jeno makes a mental note to hassle Mark for information on that later. Yuta, who is only wearing boxers for some reason, seems to have already connected the dots and is wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner that makes Jeno want to shove his head into the nearby lake. Taeyong at least has the decency to look a little sheepish for walking in on their intimate moment.

“Doyoung,” Jeno starts. “W-What are you guys doing here? And why is Yuta-Hyung naked?”

“I’m not naked! I have underwear on!”

“Can it, Nakamoto.” Doyoung snaps. He turns back to Jeno, “Yuta lost strip poker and so we're making him jump in the lake.”

“It’s forty degrees out?” Jeno states, almost in a questioning manner.

“Duh.” It’s all he gets as an explanation. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Doyoung looks around, from the two boys who are connected at every limb, to the small picnic blanket laid out on the ground, and finally ending at the half empty bottle of wine Jeno had stolen out of his dad’s liquor cabinet.

His eyes widened in realization.

“Oh my god, are you two on a date?! What the fuck, Jeno, I thought I made it very clear when I said absolutely no dating anyone from the Lee-Na family!” Doyoung all but screeches the last part, earning alarmed looks from his surrounding friends.

“Doie, calm down please, you are screaming at teenagers in a park and it's half past midnight. Somebody's gonna call the cops on you.” Taeyong puts his hand on Doyoungs arm, rubbing a little to try and sooth him. Jeno sees his brother’s cheeks flush a little at the action. Tonight is just full of surprises isn’t it.

“Um, not to play the devil’s advocate or anything, but why can’t Jeno and Jaemin be on a date?” Yuta hesitantly asks.

“My best friend has a stick up his ass and seems to think that his perfect little white picket fence house life will be in shambles if people from our families date.” Ten supplies. Doyoung flips him off and Ten sticks his tongue out at him in return.

“It’s not just that! I mean what if they break up? Or are you guys just fooling around?” He points an accusatory finger at the younger couple, and Jeno can feel a headache coming on.

“Doyoung, I love you to death, but if you imply that I am only with Jaemin for sex one more time I will break your finger off.”

“Then what is it, huh? Tell me Jeno!” Doyoungs voice begins to rise in volume, Jeno’s soon following.

“Why does it matter so much?! Why are you so far up my ass about it?” Jeno takes a step closer to his brother, but his hand stays in Jaemin’s.

“I’m just trying to do what's best for our family! I don’t want to have to cancel parties and gatherings because you two are walking on eggshells around each other! What if you break up, how are you going to be able to handle seeing each other every Christmas?”

“And how the hell do you know if we're going to break up?!”

“How do you know you won’t?”

“Because I love him! I’m so in love with him that I want to spend the rest of my life with him! Stupid little white picket fence and everything.” Jeno basically screams back.

The silence that follows is deafening. Doyoung’s face is laced with pure shock, not having expected such a bold confession out of his younger brother. It’s as if time stopped for a moment, and the group of boys were suspended in it.

“Um,” Jaemin pipes up. “Not that the white fence thingy doesn't sound awesome and all, but I was thinking more of an apartment in the city?”

Doyoung ignores him, “You love him? That much?” He says, his eyes softening ten-fold.

Jeno hesitates for a moment, then responds with a shaky “Yeah.”

“And you really wanna spend forever together? Forever is a long time, you know.”

Jeno carefully separates from Jaemin, approaching his brother who has started to look a little misty-eyed.

“I know you mean well, Hyung, but sometimes you need to let go of the control. You can't puppeteer our lives all the time, it's not helping anyone. Not even you.” Jeno says, his hands coming to wrap around Doyoung’s thin torso for a hug. The older hesitates for a moment, but eventually reciprocates with soft hands brushing through the younger’s hair.

“I know that, it's just hard to watch you grow up sometimes. I miss the little boy who used to step on my heels and copied everything I did.”

“Not that I want to interrupt this really touching moment between you two, but I’m pretty sure that flashing light over there is a park ranger.” Ten quips, pointing in the distance to what looks like a man heading in their direction.

“Shit! Run!” Yuta shouts.

And that's how they end up doubled over, heaving for air in front of Jaemin and Ten’s family home. Yuta has crashed himself out in the front lawn, waxing poetics about how he was surely gonna die of oxygen deficiency soon. Johnny walks over to try and check on him, but even the athletic man himself struggles to catch his breath. Ten has pulled his brother aside, seemingly in a deep conversation that Doyoung can probably get the gist of.

Doyoung sits on the curb with Taeyong beside him, watching his friends practically dying, and thinks that maybe, just maybe, if Jeno was truly happy, he could be happy too. Maybe Jeno could teach him a thing or two about love.

Jeno couldn't measure his love for Jaemin with a ruler or a scale, but he could do everything in his power to make sure Jaemin sees it every day. Quiet words exchanged over the phone when it’s much too late to be awake, and fleeting touches on days where they just don’t have enough time.

And maybe, just maybe, one day there will be a ring.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you very much for reading if you did! this is my very first fic ever so I hope it lives up to your standards


End file.
